


In The End It's Gonna Be Alright.

by Peachteari



Category: SKAM (Netherlands), WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:06:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24340285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peachteari/pseuds/Peachteari
Summary: Trigger warnings: anxiety and panic attacksLucas has a panic attack and this time, Jens is there.
Relationships: Jens Stoffels/Lucas van der Heijden
Kudos: 59





	In The End It's Gonna Be Alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Please be aware of the trigger warning! 
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @gucciboner

Lucas is laying on the floor of his bedroom. Trying to focus on the sensation of the cold hardwood floor under the palms of his hands, under heels of his feet and under his bareback. He presses his heels down as hard as he can, as if he’s trying to push the floor away from underneath him. 

It isn't working. 

He moves his hand to his stomach, focusing on his breath. Slowly in through the nose, hold for six seconds, slowly out through the mouth, like Jens thought him how to do a few weeks ago. 

He bangs his fists on the floor, sending a jolt of pain through his hands. 

He noticed it the second he woke up this morning, the burning feeling spreading through his chest, down to his stomach and through his whole body. Completely consuming him. He took a cold shower, hoping that the feeling of the icy water would ground him. 

But it didn't. It got worse. it started crawling under skin, trying to break out. 

He slowly pushed himself into a sitting position, and immediately closed his eyes at the wave of nausea that passed through him. 

He hears his phone vibrating on the bed, but he ignores it, if he moves now he might throw up. 

He doesn't know how to calm himself down, he can't calm himself down. He’s awfully aware of his heart is beating against his ribs and the fire spreading through his chest. Everything around him is too loud, the birds chirping outside, the cars passing through his street, his phone that’s vibrating again.

“shut up” he hisses. 

He moves his hands into his hair and tugs, he’s in the edge of a panic attack, he knows he is. He can tell by the way it feels like his brain his breaking open, splitting in two. He starts rocking his body slowly back and forth, trying to comfort himself.

His phone starts vibrating again, only this time it doesn't stop, someone is calling him. 

He scoots his body over the floor, never getting up, just far enough for him to stretch his arm out and grab ahold of his phone. He looks at the screen. 

It’s Jens. 

The tightness in his chest seems to loosen just slightly at the thought of him so Lucas decides to answers it, moving to phone to his ear with a trembling hand.

“Hello?” Jens’ voice sounds through the speaker. 

He can't talk, he tries to swallow the lump in his throat but fails, it feels like someone scrubbed his throat with sandpaper.

“Luc, is everything okay?” 

That does it for Lucas, that tips him over the edge. He lets out a quiet whine. His eyes burn and he clenches them shut, making tears spill out. With a loud thud, he lets his body fall back on the ground

“I’m already on my way over Luc, I’ll be there in a minute, don't hang up the phone okay?” Jens says and the worry is his voice is so clear that Lucas feels even worse. 

He bites down in his fist, trying to hide the sounds of his sobs that are making his body shake uncontrollably. 

“Okay Lucas, I’m almost there, do you think you can open the door for me? Or is your dad home?” 

Lucas chokes out a “No” so quiet he doesn’t know if Jens heard him and he somehow manages to slowly get up, his trembling legs almost giving out under him. He only now notices how hard his heart is actually beating, it wouldn’t surprise him if it bursts open. 

He isn't sure how he got down the stairs, but he's standing at the front door now, struggling to open the lock.

When he finally gets it open, Jens is already standing there. He pockets his phone and gently pushes Lucas inside, shutting the door with his feet. 

Lucas is starting at Jens’ face but he can’t make out any of his features, his vision is blurry, as if he’s looking through a fisheye lens. His chest starts heaving up and down in a fast pace. He puts his hands on Jens’ shoulder, digging his fingers into the soft fabric of his Hoodie, desperately trying to keep himself standing up.

“Let it out Luc, it's okay, I’m here,” Jens tells him softly. 

He can’t breathe. 

“Jens I-” he gasps for air. All he can focus in is the sound of blood rushing in his ears and his palpitating heartbeat. 

Jens’ hands are still on his arms, he’s keeping his distance, giving Lucas enough room but trying to comfort him at the same time. 

The room is spinning and Lucas’ digs his fingers harder into Jens’ shoulder, trying not to collapse. 

“Try to breathe with me Luc,” Jens says as he takes a slow deep breath in through his nose. 

Lucas tries to take a deep breath but his chest feels like it’s on fire.

“We can do it together Luc,” Jens moves his hand to Lucas’ bare stomach, “Try to breathe through your stomach.” Jens takes another deep breath in, holds it in for six seconds before slowly breathing out and gesturing with his other hand for Lucas to do the same.

Lucas closed his eyes, focused on the sound of Jens’ breath and the warm feeling of his hand on Lucas’ stomach. 

They stood there for a while, breathing together and slowly but surely Lucas felt the air come back into his lungs. 

Lucas opened his eyes. He still feels lightheaded but at least he can breathe again. 

Jens was smiling softly at him. “Hey” he moves his hands to Lucas’ face to wipe some of the tears away. 

“Hi” Lucas breathes out a watery laugh. He weakly tugs at the fabric of Jens’ hoodie, wanting to be closer. 

Jens gets the message and steps forward, wrapping his arms around Lucas shoulders, pressing their bodies together. Lucas entire body aches from exhaustion and he’s fully leaning on Jens for support.

“Let's go upstairs okay? lay down for a bit” Je says, rubbing his hand up and down Lucas’ back, who nods against his neck. 

Jens takes Lucas’ hand in his and slowly leads him up the stairs. 

“I’ll get you some water for your throat, you go to bed,” he says once they reach Lucas’ bedroom. Lucas nods and Jens presses a kiss to his forehead, letting his lips linger there for a few seconds. 

When Jens returns with a big glass of water, and an ibuprofen for the headache he knows Lucas gets after a panic attack, Lucas is laying in his bed, curled up under the covers. 

Jens’ heart aches at the sight, he looks so vulnerable and small.

“I also got you some ibuprofen.” He whispers as he sits down on the edge of the bed. 

It takes Lucas a few seconds before he can gather the strength to sit up straight. But when he does Jens hands him the ibuprofen and he swallows it, gulping down the whole glass of water. Jens takes the now empty glass back from his hands and puts it down on the nightstand.

“lay with me?” 

Jens does as he’s told. He slips off his shoes first but then crawl under the covers, next to Lucas. Lucas immediately shifts closer, resting his head in the crook of Jens’ neck. Jens tries to engulf him, to complete wrap his body around Lucas’, to make him feel as safe as possible. Jens can still feel the tension in his body, his breath still a bit uneven.

“How did you know you had to come?” Lucas whispers into the silence. 

“When you didn't reply to my texts all morning, I kind of got a feeling something was wrong.” 

Lucas nods against his neck, snuggling even closer while Jens runs his fingers along Lucas’ spine. 

Lucas rarely tells him, sometimes he tells him after it happened, sometimes he doesn’t tell him at all, Jens always knows it happened though, he can tell by the way Lucas moves, like his limbs are too heavy, different from his usual elegant way.

He had witnessed Lucas having a panic attack once before, when they were at the movies. Jens noticed something was wrong right away, when he saw Lucas standing outside the theatre, waiting for him. He was staring into space, totally zoned out. When Jens greeted him, he smiled without the typical sparkle in his eyes. He had asked if everything was okay, told him they didn’t have to see a movie, he’d be fine doing whatever. but Lucas had insisted that everything was fine. 

15 minutes later Lucas was sitting on the bathroom floor, his knees tucked to his chest. Jens was kneeled down next to him, rubbing his back, trying to provide comfort somehow while Lucas clutched his head in between his head fighting to breathe. 

Jens had brought him home after and he opened up about his struggles. He stills tends to push Jens away, he digs himself into a hole when he feels it coming, keeping all his thoughts and worries to himself. 

“You know you can always tell me when you get anxious right?” He tells Lucas who lets out a shaky breath, and it tickles against his skin. When he doesn’t reply Jens squeezes his arms tighter around Lucas’ frame, Jens can practically hear him think.

“Luc, I know what you're thinking right now,” He moves away slightly so he can cup Lucas’ face with his hands and look into his eyes. “You are not a burden, you're my boyfriend and I don't want you to go through this alone,” he rests their foreheads together. “I may not always say or do the right thing, even if all I can do is just sit there and hold your hand, I’ll do it, always,” Jens promises him.

Lucas moves his head back slightly and swallows, eyes scanning over Jens’ face for a sign that he doesn't mean it, that he won't be there, that he will get tired of him, but he doesn't find it. 

He nods his head before leaning in to close the distance between them, he tries to pour all his gratitude and love into the kiss, all the feelings he can not express with words. He thinks Jens gets it because he deepens de kiss and pulls Lucas closer by the back of his head. 

Always. Lucas likes the sound of that.


End file.
